Ever since i left my high school and started with my college, my so called "balls' have retreated back to where it came from. All this long i have been wishing, only if i could say "no" to stuff i didn't like and not worry about what people would think about me. You see, it is easy for some people to just do what they want and i am not one of them. Every time i say no to something, this "self consciousness" of mine kicks in and starts bashing me for doing what i did. It doesn't have to be a big thing, for an example, saying no to a football game during exam time, i mean i know its a genuine reason yet i end up putting myself in a position where i feel guilty for saying 'NO".
Its been almost 5 years i have been having this problems and some call me depressed while others call me loner. I don't know what is wrong with me or if there is any thing wrong at all but i have learnt from it and this piece of article is an effort to tell what i learnt in the hopes that it would help those having same problems.
My high school principal once said something during our assembly and it goes like this "it is possible to make every one happy some time, it is possible to make some one happy all the time, but it is impossible to make everyone happy all the time" and it has been there in my head the whole time. I was too little to understand the weight of his words, but now i feel, that might have been the single most important thing that i needed to know in order to be myself.
Do you remember when your parents used to tell you " be yourself" but you had no idea what it meant?? well basically what i learnt is, the only way to solve this problem is by being myself and doing what i wanted to do caring less about what people think about me. i don't want to discourage but i don't want to give a false impression either. So trust me it is lot easier said than done.
I know, knowing something is one thing and realizing the same thing is a another thing, but i feel like i have figured out the way and all i need now is a to walk that way till the end of it. It is not going to be easy to do what i want and not to care about what people think about it, but i would rather choose to be the most hated guy than to go back to where i was 5 years ago.
I hope this article was of some help and please do comment if you have figured out something better to fight what it is.